Here is something which I have no need to introduce, nor talk about. It’s here and we haven’t noticed, and for many, few care.
Choices, choices… everyday we have choices. Do we go up, down, left, right, turn around and go back or in another direction? Making choices can be difficult, if not harrowing, yet we have to make them – it’s our destiny. Whether you believe in a higher being or not, choices are our way of life.
Many choose to accept this as our way of life, and others choose to blame others, or something else for our failures. The strange thing is, we accept all that is good, then blame someone or something else for our failures.
Within the last month or so, many friends and I have spoken about this subject, even about choices which one commented to another, “Have you considered that everyone else is correct and you’re wrong?” That statement coming from a religious person is absurd. Speaking religiously, how many times have we seen in biblical history that following the crowd leads to anything from suffering bad results personally, to horrible results for a community? There is the supposed safety of being in a community, but when the community you’re in suffers, so do you, yet we continue. It’s like we never learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of those who lived before us. We can blame the lack of knowledge on the “elite” – that’s very convenient in an age where we can find what was via the internet, but that carries no water. Granted, it’s difficult to weed out what is true among all the material that is available, but one simple way to get at it is to look for consistencies.
Providing you’re a person who gives and looks for respect in life and choices, you understand that each of us has the right to make and live our choices, whether others agree or not. Many decisions which are made are from what our chosen society, community and families think – seldom (in my experiences) are choices made from our own reasoning – we seem to hate to take responsibility for our own choices – we hate to stand alone. If one saying is correct, “Misery loves company”, this will explain our inability to make our own decisions, and stand by them, whether right or wrong.
I’ve written a lot about non-conformity over the years and here I hope to summarize those thoughts a bit.
Presently, we are inundated with choices, although they don’t seem like choices. Some are on whether or not to have cell phones, notepads, computers, and what we should do with them – what programs and applications to use on them? – what is privacy and if it’s important: what is GMO? and if it’s dangerous for us – what we should do and how we should eat and drink: 5G is supposedly coming, and how it will affect us: if the drugs that doctors give so freely is good or bad for our physical and mental health, and how they affect the society in which we live. There are SO many questions, and so many answers – so, which choice is correct for you AND society?
If you’re looking for me to answer any of these questions, or others, stop! The answer is in you, or better yet, it’s with what many have chosen to deny – they’re with our Creator. Sure, you can blame someone else, including our Creator if you choose – you’ll feel good, for awhile, but the problem(s) still exist – just like a person who thinks he/she can drink the problems away. If you look at mistakes, wrong choices as an avenue to learn, you’ve become all the wiser for learning, and growing.
If we as humanity continue to dodge the correct choice and not learn, we will remain where we are – ignorantly blaming others and not going anywhere.
On the extreme: choice wrong, refuse to learn, then you and your community will suffer. You will have to deal with all of the above and more because of fear – fear of standing alone, of doing what is correct, even in the light of everyone doing wrong.
Since my last post, I’ve been wondering about what to write. The world is full of “things”, some of which it would be easy to write about – the good, the bad and the ugly (no movie title implied). What I observed is, there are those who want to write and share factual information – the good: there are those who want to write, or make videos to either sell something to you – to become rich the easy way, or to frighten you – the bad. The ugly people are those that do all the above without care for you or your future, just their own gratification.
What really has me in a quandary is that while over the years, I’ve written mainly about being a non-conformist, I’ve seen more and more people becoming conformists. The question I impose on myself is, “why write to an audience who cares little, if anything at all if few read, and even fewer, if any, see the value of non-conformity?”
Then, I stumbled across something valuable for those who need to have the obvious explained – when you’re as old as I am, you already know. Anyway, what I found is a video in YouTube about different personality types. The first one I saw was close to me, and for a lack of interest, I accepted that for what it was. Shortly thereafter, I discovered another video which got me to discover, me! I’m an INTJ, to the “T”. To learn more about this personality type, press here.
Ok, I’ve deviated…
The point is, once I realized that my personality type is rare, so am I, so I see the world differently (as all of us do). I’m hoping to “help others” while the “others” consider themselves, “just fine!” I see life differently and I need to accept that – so now I’ll just sit back and watch – watch whatever happens, then see if I’m “spot-on” or just plain wrong.
Let’s back up just a little.
“… I see the world differently (as all of us do).”
Lately, I’ve been making a point to others about seeing things – life differently. The point is, there can be many people looking at an object, but because we are many, we have to stand in the shape of the object to see it (stretch your imagination just a bit). If there is an object on a table in front of ten people, and the object is only 39 inches (1 meter) from side to side, and everyone wants to stand in front of the object, not behind someone, you can picture a circle. The problem is, while everyone is as close to the object as possible, not behind anyone, everyone see’s the object, but from different points of view. Simply put, if two people are talking with you, one on your left, the other on your right, both people see you, but they can only describe their own view of you.
Lastly, while this really doesn’t apply to me, at least hardly at all, I do understand, to a degree, the need to be with others, whether it’s called being a part of a “community” or just being a part of a group. I see it as being afraid of standing alone – being independent. In my little world, that is called “group think”. If others do it, it’s OK for me too! When being judged, we’re judged as an individual, not a group.
Well, as we see and hear about the world and society going crazier literally by the day, and I watch everyone else “do their thing”….
… well, let’s just see what the future brings. 😉
Some have asked me who wrote this and the previous articles:
I am the author of all the articles here, and as of this article, I’ll do my best to remember to “sign” each when I’m finished.
Sorry about the confusion.
Kirk W. Spencer.
Over the past few months, there have been many topics on which I have wanted to write about, but because of being without something to write on, or having a topic which I thought was inadequate at the time, I haven’t written anything, till now.
I may have written on this subject before, but I can say that this is a topic very close to me.
I am an American living in Mexico, which is in itself is a trial in many ways, but not all. The main difference I have found difficult to adjust to is space. We Americans love our space! Just look at our streets – wide and long. Our freeways and turnpikes; wide and smooth. Our sidewalks; wide, smooth and typically clean; our personal space – distance. Mexico? Small, narrow, short and close (typically).
One of the things that is individualistic is nonconformity. From my point of view, the world is a place of conformity – everyone has to be alike to succeed, and most everyone I know has bought into that idea – even those who say that they’re independent.
Someone I know is constantly “annoying” me to join a religion she belongs too. I constantly refuse to do so, so the next thing I hear is, “If you don’t join my religion, I’ll never see you again”, and there is usually a slight variation to that. My reply has been, “In my journeys, I have met and befriended many people from many walks of life, and many different religions, and those who profess no religion. What all of them, as well as us have in common is, all of us have experienced “miracles” – things that have happened in our lives which we can not explain. What I have come to know is, our Creator doesn’t care about our religions, after all, religions were created by man (see the book of Genesis for reference). Man has gone to war over religion, and conformity.”
Conformity takes on many different covers/descriptions. Many think that tatoos, body-piercings, coloring your hair green, pink, red, blue, multi-colors, etc. is nonconformity. Really? How many others are doing the same thing? Why? If people are still wearing their pants below their buttocks, that’s not nonconformity, and many that I’ve spoken with don’t know why they do it, other than they know someone else doing the same, and without knowing what it means.
In the 1990’s, the “New Age Movement” hit it’s high and it seemed that there were a lot of people trying to ride that band wagon to fame and riches. Books and classes in some kind of new age science were abounding. I tried also, but not by writing a book, just from giving classes. I started out with free classes – no one attended. I charged a little and got a little; I charged more and got more (weird). When I got a packed room, I asked, “What’s the difference between this class and the class I offered for free?” Everyone who answered replied, “I don’t know, what?” My reply?
Conformity tells us that if it costs nothing, that must be its value.
Now, here in Mexico, I do two things: I teach English (P and C Advanced English), and I perform holistic therapies, which is curative, or maintenance for the mind, body and soul (La Verdadera Salud Texcoco). What makes my teaching and therapies so different? Let me explain in short form:
- In teaching English, most everyone (I don’t know everyone) here teaches with books. They teach young and old as if they’re in high school or university. They can tear a sentence apart, but holding a conversation? I teach in a combination of ways; non of us learned our native languages from a book. Perfected? Yes. We listened, watched, spoke and praticed along with making mistakes until we got it right. I do somewhat the same, except I teach the multiple meanings of words. For example, “My computer is broken, I need to fix it.” and, “Fix the picture to that wall.” or, “The bathroom is in a fixed location.” I teach in businesses, so I have to teach effectively and books don’t help a lot.
- In holistic therapies, I have met many people who have come to me saying that they have been to two to four doctors trying to get relief for a problem, only to continue suffering with the same problem(s). What I have learned is, doctors usually try to help you by attacking the problems you have, i.e., if you have a stomach ache, here is something for that problem. I on the other hand want to know what caused the problem, then solve your problem(s) from that angle. So far, I’ve had a lot of successes.
There are a lot of differences between nonconformity and rebellion and you would do well to know them, but for now, being a nonconformist means being yourself in a world which wants you to be the same because you’re easier to control. If you conform, you won’t question the difference between police and sheriff: morally correct and legally correct: what is accepted and what is correct, and so much more. I also understand that there is a certain amount of comfort in being a part of the crowd – the boat seldom gets rocked, everything is the same everyday, you’ve reached your goal and growing more isn’t anything you’re interested in… the list goes on. Well, if that’s what you want, have it. You have a role in life. For the true nonconformist, we do not hold that against you – that is you. Quite seriously, “Live well and prosper!”
If I have done nothing more than help you to think about something different, I have accomplished my goal. I am a nonconformist. I am alone, but not lonely. However, I am also a bit unique in a different way. Learn something about personality types. Here is something in video form which will teach you a bit more – for those who don’t have the time or patience to read. I am an “INTF“. This is a (short) YouTube (video) link.
Now, ask yourself again, “Who and what am I, and why?”
Whatever you do, be true to yourself.
In the United States, there is a huge argument, or at least a discussion about justice or law, and few seem to understand the difference.
For instance, if you’re stopped for a traffic violation, some of those stopped think that they can argue their way out of the ticket, especially if it is with a police officer. What is a police officer? What are his or her responsibilities?
A police officer is in short, a person who is appointed by city or state government to enforce the law and rules of their district – or again, in short, they are policy enforcers. Their official role has nothing to do with justice.
A sheriff in the U.S. on the other hand, has been elected by the community in which he or she resides and works. That person is answerable to the community in which he and she serves. However, unlike the movie, “Judge Dread”, neither a police officer nor a sheriff is the law enforcer and the judge. To look for justice, that is the role of a referee, not a judge.
Why a referee? If you want justice, that is the role of a referee. By definition, a referee is one who listens to all sides of a complaint: searches and reads to understand all points of view, then with the existing laws, makes a decision.
The problems we currently have in our societies is not so much the system – not eliminating them wholly – but the understanding we have of the system and how it
works. Obviously I have not included every aspect of the legal system, but when you study the “legal system”, you will understand how it works, and who is the ultimate winner.
As for attorney’s, or lawyers, that is the easiest of all – they are agents of the court or law. When you hire one, you’re hiring your, in many cases, your enemy.
Good luck for your future!
Links in this artile:
Of all the issues facing us today, here are two things which we see, whether we notice them or not.
One of the things we don’t do today is, discuss. I’m leaving the discussion box open… if necessary.
Thank you to “Jason A” of YouTube for sharing!
A little while ago, I was watching a very different and strange kind if movie. The movie was an old one and about getting revenge on someone once he was out of prison, and how. Getting his revenge wasn’t necessary, just desired. My immediate thought was, “If you’re seeking revenge, dig two graves”, but this was not the thought of the movie. As stated early in the movie, ” You have more money than you can spend in a lifetime… “, so this drew my attention; if not revenge, what?
What is ego in your opinion?
Think about it…
Okay, go ahead, take a look at the definition, the rest of the article will wait…
Think about that relating to you…
Most everything we do is related to our own ego. Most of us do everything with the thought of, “What will others think?” Why do we care? Are the people we want to impress paying for our food, clothes, the things we use everyday? How about, are those people really worth impressing? If your answer is yes, then why? I don’t care how deep you have to dig for the correct answer, you just need to answer this for yourself, why?
Why do we do the things we do? Why do we care about what others think? Why do we care about what others think of us? For prestige? For influencing others to the way we think?
Usually, for those of us who think well of ourselves, and of others, we think that “using” others as we think we’re being used is just fine, after all, ‘we only use others a little, right?’ We only want to sway the attention of others our way… for a reason. We just want others to see as we do, even if for only a minute.
What drew me to the movie, and kept me there was a recurring thought, what really hurts the one you want to hurt is what’s hiding right in front of you – in plain sight… but we don’t see it.
Keeping with the thought of the movie for a moment: he wants to hurt the other person like, or more than the other has hurt him. So, how does he do this? The one he wants to hurt has a history if taking, even violently when necessary. So how do you hurt one such as him? What is right in front of him, you, that he/you can’t see? How do you hurt someone who is accustomed to taking?
Remove your ego, then you’ll have your answer…
Your ego wants to hurt the other person, but the lack if ego, still wanting to hurt understands that without your ego, you give to others, which hurts the one you want to hurt.
If you want to succeed in life… without ego! What is so important in your life that ego HAS to be a part?
Almost everyone I meet says that they want to improve the world, one way or another. Are we wanting to leave our mark on the world? Are we trying to be remembered, or really wanting to help others, without ego?
Lastly, are we truly wanting to help others, or be remembered by someone we don’t know, for some unknown time for no real reason?
Honestly, we need ‘some’ ego, if for no other reason, to live, but how much?
Are you balanced?