Is Love Difficult?… or, What is Love?




In my lifetime, I’ve heard and read seemingly endless stories and descriptions of what love is and is not. Even the cute little cartoons titled, “Love is…” which ran in newspapers for… years, attempted to describe love. Movies from all genres got involved… is there any wonder that the world is confused about love?


To make it even more confusing, try to get people to describe “unconditional love”. People can’t agree on what love is, so why trust them to describe unconditional love?


I’ve come to know that there are simple and easy explanations for most everything, it’s when we think about something too much and/or try to make ourselves, “important” in the eyes of others that the simple becomes difficult and oft-times, corrupted. So, let’s go back to basics:


Unconditional love: This is the most basic love. It’s what makes babies of the animal kingdom so precious. No matter the animal, human or man-eating tiger, babies accept anyone and everyone unconditionally. We commonly call this type of love, innocence… mainly because it is – innocent. As we age, as we get older and supposedly wiser, we lose that innocence, and don’t understand why love has become conditional.


Conditional love: This is what we come to know of love as we gain knowledge, but forget wisdom. InnocenceThere isn’t anything wrong with conditional love, as a matter of fact, it’s necessary in our world. We love our girlfriend, boyfriend, husband wife… conditionally. Why? As long as the “other person” allows us to be ourselves with her or him, we’re happy – and as long as we’re happy with that person (condition), we love that person. When that person ceases to let us be ourselves and our happiness no longer exists with that person, our love starts looking for that lost happiness – if not found, we experience a heavy loss and great emptiness, thus ending the relationship. Does this mean that unconditional love no longer exists?


If you can understand that unconditional love is your innocence, that you can love someone unconditionally as a being that deserves love and respect, then you know unconditional love. If you can love someone, even if the person(s) is/are harming you… even if you have to kill the person to save your life, or the life of another, not killing for pleasure (including revenge or any sense of personal satisfaction), but only as a necessity to preserve the life of someone who has done no one harm, this is an example of how I see unconditional love expressed in adults.


I hope these simple examples help.


Keep it simple – love yourself, love others, and be loved


All the best, always!