Joining-Conformity vs. Independence-Nonconformity

Over the past few months, there have been many topics on which I have wanted to write about, but because of being without something to write on, or having a topic which I thought was inadequate at the time, I haven’t written anything, till now.

I may have written on this subject before, but I can say that this is a topic very close to me.

I am an American living in Mexico, which is in itself is a trial in many ways, but not all. The main difference I have found difficult to adjust to is space. We Americans love our space! Just look at our streets – wide and long. Our freeways and turnpikes; wide and smooth. Our sidewalks; wide, smooth and typically clean; our personal space – distance. Mexico? Small, narrow, short and close (typically).

QuestionAuthorityOne of the things that is individualistic is nonconformity. From my point of view, the world is a place of conformity – everyone has to be alike to succeed, and most everyone I know has bought into that idea – even those who say that they’re independent.

Someone I know is constantly “annoying” me to join a religion she belongs too. I constantly refuse to do so, so the next thing I hear is, “If you don’t join my religion, I’ll never see you again”, and there is usually a slight variation to that. My reply has been, “In my journeys, I have met and befriended many people from many walks of life, and many different religions, and those who profess no religion. What all of them, as well as us have in common is, all of us have experienced “miracles” – things that have happened in our lives which we can not explain. What I have come to know is, our Creator doesn’t care about our religions, after all, religions were created by man (see the book of Genesis for reference). Man has gone to war over religion, and conformity.”

Conformity takes on many different covers/descriptions. Many think that tatoos, body-piercings, coloring your hair green, pink, red, blue, multi-colors, etc. is nonconformity. Really? How many others are doing the same thing? Why? If people are still wearing their pants below their buttocks, that’s not nonconformity, and many that I’ve spoken with don’t know why they do it, other than they know someone else doing the same, and without knowing what it means.

In the 1990’s, the “New Age Movement” hit it’s high and it seemed that there were a lot of people trying to ride that band wagon to fame and riches. Books and classes in some kind of new age science were abounding. I tried also, but not by writing a book, just from giving classes. I started out with free classes – no one attended. I charged a little and got a little; I charged more and got more (weird). When I got a packed room, I asked, “What’s the difference between this class and the class I offered for free?” Everyone who answered replied, “I don’t know, what?” My reply?

Nonconformist

“Nothing”

Conformity tells us that if it costs nothing, that must be its value.

Now, here in Mexico, I do two things: I teach English (P and C Advanced English), and I perform holistic therapies, which is curative, or maintenance for the mind, body and soul (La Verdadera Salud Texcoco). What makes my teaching and therapies so different? Let me explain in short form:

  • In teaching English, most everyone (I don’t know everyone) here teaches with books. They teach young and old as if they’re in high school or university. They can tear a sentence apart, but holding a conversation? I teach in a combination of ways; non of us learned our native languages from a book. Perfected? Yes. We listened, watched, spoke and praticed along with making mistakes until we got it right. I do somewhat the same, except I teach the multiple meanings of words. For example, “My computer is broken, I need to fix it.” and, “Fix the picture to that wall.” or, “The bathroom is in a fixed location.” I teach in businesses, so I have to teach effectively and books don’t help a lot.
  • In holistic therapies, I have met many people who have come to me saying that they have been to two to four doctors trying to get relief for a problem, only to continue suffering with the same problem(s). What I have learned is, doctors usually try to help you by attacking the problems you have, i.e., if you have a stomach ache, here is something for that problem. I on the other hand want to know what caused the problem, then solve your problem(s) from that angle. So far, I’ve had a lot of successes.

Thinking GPatton

There are a lot of differences between nonconformity and rebellion and you would do well to know them, but for now, being a nonconformist means being yourself in a world which wants you to be the same because you’re easier to control. If you conform, you won’t question the difference between police and sheriff: morally correct and legally correct: what is accepted and what is correct, and so much more. I also understand that there is a certain amount of comfort in being a part of the crowd – the boat seldom gets rocked, everything is the same everyday, you’ve reached your goal and growing more isn’t anything you’re interested in… the list goes on. Well, if that’s what you want, have it. You have a role in life. For the true nonconformist, we do not hold that against you – that is you. Quite seriously, “Live well and prosper!”

If I have done nothing more than help you to think about something different, I have accomplished my goal. I am a nonconformist. I am alone, but not lonely. However, I am also a bit unique in a different way. Learn something about personality types. Here is something in video form which will teach you a bit more – for those who don’t have the time or patience to read. I am an “INTF“. This is a (short) YouTube (video) link.

Now, ask yourself again, “Who and what am I, and why?”

Whatever you do, be true to yourself.

WhoStopsMe


 

Justice or Law?

In the United States, there is a huge argument, or at least a discussion about justice or law, and few seem to understand the difference.

For instance, if you’re stopped for a traffic violation, some of those stopped think that they can argue their way out of the ticket, especially if it is with a police officer. What is a police officer? What are his or her responsibilities?

A police officer is in short, a person who is appointed by city or state government to enforce the law and rules of their district – or again, in short, they are policy enforcers. Their official role has nothing to do with justice.

Police Brittanica

This is A history of Police and Policing. It’s long, but very good! https://www.britannica.com/topic/police

A sheriff in the U.S. on the other hand, has been elected by the community in which he or she resides and works. That person is answerable to the community in which he and she serves. However, unlike the movie, “Judge Dread”, neither a police officer nor a sheriff is the law enforcer and the judge. To look for justice, that is the role of a referee, not a judge.

Why a referee? If you want justice, that is the role of a referee. By definition, a referee is one who listens to all sides of a complaint: searches and reads to understand all points of view, then with the existing laws, makes a decision.

The problems we currently have in our societies is not so much the system – not eliminating them wholly – but the understanding we have of the system and how it

works. Obviously I have not included every aspect of the legal system, but when you study the “legal system”, you will understand how it works, and who is the ultimate winner.

As for attorney’s, or lawyers, that is the easiest of all – they are agents of the court or law. When you hire one, you’re hiring your, in many cases, your enemy.

Good luck for your future!


 

Links in this artile:

Police

Attorney

Judge

Justice

Referee


 

Addressing Two Present Issues

Of all the issues facing us today, here are two things which we see, whether we notice them or not.

One of the things we don’t do today is, discuss. I’m leaving the discussion box open… if necessary.

Thank you to “Jason A” of YouTube for sharing!

Why Ego?

A little while ago, I was watching a very different and strange kind if movie. The movie was an old one and about getting revenge on someone once he was out of prison, and how. Getting his revenge wasn’t necessary, just desired. My immediate thought was, “If you’re seeking revenge, dig two graves”, but this was not the thought of the movie. As stated early in the movie, ” You have more money than you can spend in a lifetime… “, so this drew my attention; if not revenge, what?

What is ego in your opinion?

Think about it…

what-would-the-ego-do-without-a-problem

 

Okay, go ahead, take a look at the definition, the rest of the article will wait…

Think about that relating to you…

Most everything we do is related to our own ego. Most of us do everything with the thought of, “What will others think?” Why do we care? Are the people we want to impress paying for our food, clothes, the things we use everyday? How about, are those people really worth impressing? If your answer is yes, then why? I don’t care how deep you have to dig for the correct answer, you just need to answer this for yourself, why?

Why do we do the things we do? Why do we care about what others think? Why do we care about what others think of us? For prestige? For influencing others to the way we think?

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Usually, for those of us who think well of ourselves, and of others, we think that “using” others as we think we’re being used is just fine, after all, ‘we only use others a little, right?’ We only want to sway the attention of others our way… for a reason. We just want others to see as we do, even if for only a minute.

What drew me to the movie, and kept me there was a recurring thought, what really hurts the one you want to hurt is what’s hiding right in front of you – in plain sight… but we don’t see it.

Keeping with the thought of the movie for a moment: he wants to hurt the other person like, or more than the other has hurt him. So, how does he do this? The one he wants to hurt has a history if taking, even violently when necessary. So how do you hurt one such as him? What is right in front of him, you, that he/you can’t see? How do you hurt someone who is accustomed to taking?

Remove your ego, then you’ll have your answer…

Your ego wants to hurt the other person, but the lack if ego, still wanting to hurt understands that without your ego, you give to others, which hurts the one you want to hurt.

If you want to succeed in life… without ego! What is so important in your life that ego HAS to be a part?

Almost everyone I meet says that they want to improve the world, one way or another. Are we wanting to leave our mark on the world? Are we trying to be remembered, or really wanting to help others, without ego?

20120901-085952

Lastly, are we truly wanting to help others, or be remembered by someone we don’t know, for some unknown time for no real reason?

Honestly, we need ‘some’ ego, if for no other reason, to live, but how much?

Are you balanced?

Pieces of Metal

“Fear not the weapon, but the person who wields it.”

Unknown

We live in a time when political factions are working hard to influence you to take a side on “gun control”, whether you live in the United States, where gun ownership is written into their constitution with the reasons why it’s important, or if you live in a country pieces of metal 1where gun ownership is illegal – politicians are working hard to sway your opinions.

When I was a child, my father owned two high-powered rifles and a WWII 45 caliber semi-automatic pistol (he was a WWII veteran) and a few other firearms. My mother on the other hand, has always hated firearms. She was never afraid that the guns alone would harm anyone, she didn’t like the fact that someone could cause great harm with them. In like manner, she didn’t like hunting knives, for the same reasons, but did not fear kitchen knives; she respected their sharp edges, but wasn’t afraid of them.

Around us every day are pieces of metal. In our pockets, we have keys, and if you know what to do with them, they are also weapons – should we make them illegal? Keys are to lock and unlock our prized possessions, but as my father taught me, “Locks are only to keep honest people, honest.” Keeping that thought in mind, if locks only keep honest people honest, and keys can become weapons, what difference does it make if we own keys, knives, ball bearings, bows and arrows, hammers, screwdrivers… an endless list of metal objects (and non-metal objects) that can kill? Humans make these objects, and they’re harmless until a human uses them to kill.

swords and gunsTravelling across the U.S. many years ago, via bus, I came into a city where we had a well deserved lay over. When we returned to the bus to continue our journey, much to our surprise, the bus company was scanning passengers for weapons, much like what the TSA does before boarding an airplane. Longer story short: I normally carry a small Swiss Army knife all the time, an old habit my father taught me, and I happened to have at that time a “Leatherman” tool kit on me as well – both of which my father gave to me, so I didn’t want to lose them. Security wouldn’t let me board with them and since my baggage was already on the bus, they wouldn’t let me put it in the stowed luggage. The bus driver heard our conversation and offered to hold them until I reached my destination.

When I reached my destination, he gave me my knife and leatherman kit, and I thanked him. I also pulled him aside, took out my wallet and showed him my martial arts instructors ID and told him that I was far more dangerous than a small Swiss Army knife and a leatherman tool kit. His eyes grew as large as saucers, then we shook hands and I left.

The point here is, there are MANY things which can become weapons with someone who knows what to do with them, including parts of our own bodies. We cannot outlaw everything. What we NEED do is to understand what the politicians don’t want to talk about, publicly:

  • WE have to take responsiblity for our actions, and stop blaming inanimate objects for the harm we do to each other;
  • WE also need to talk about the pharmaceutical industry and their drug pushers, mainly, psychiatrists for drugging us and our children – read the side effects of the drugs given for just depression, you will be surprised;
  • Lastly, we need to educate ourselves about what IS, not just what is being fed to us by whatever is your typical source of information.

One more quote in closing:

“I have seen the enemy, and it is us.”

 

All the best for your future!

Conservatism and Responsibility

Over the past few years, more so than the past few decades, we have seen a huge wave of liberalism sweeping through the United States and the world. Most notably the forced acceptance of gay, lesbian, transgender and trans-sexual “rights”, and more.

During the 1950’s and before, there was no such thing as rights for this “community”, as a matter of fact, same sex people were often considered to be mentally unbalanced and sent for psychological treatments.

In my lifetime, I’ve met and befriended some gay, lesbian and transgender individualsfree speech and learned that, at least with them, they tried heterosexual life, but found that they had a very strong attraction to the same sex that they didn’t experience with members of the opposite sex. They came to terms with those desires and accepted themselves.

While conservatives – not speaking of political conservatives here – have softened their view of this community by accepting them as individuals, liberals have resorted to forcing the acceptance of this community by violating the rights of others, conservatives or not, by forcing, for example, the supposed rights of this community to use whatever restroom, locker-room  they so choose. Now there is fight over what pronouns to use when addressing people. I for one will address a person with the pronoun that fits the persons appearance – male or female.

In the 1960’s, there was the era of liberalism which swept the world, and I embraced it almost wholeheartedly. Being brought up in a conservative home, as most of us were in that time, we wanted a more liberal society, but we knew how to push limits, not fall off the ledge. When you listen to the songs of the 60’s and early 70’s, before Disco music, the songs were still of love as well as the protest songs of the era. Now days, songs have fallen off the ledge morally and hit rock bottom. I can’t help but remember a song from the early 2000’s titled, “I Want to F___ You in the A__”. The limit’s in that song do not exist.

responsibilityThe really horrible thing about the age in which we live now is that everyone wants to have a voice, but not listen to others. Yes, we have free speech in most countries, but to shut someone off because they have an opposing point of view, whether backed with facts or not is not a reason to fight, verbally nor physically. We as a worldwide society now will not advance/grow until we learn to sit with each other and have discussions, even debates and at least learn to listen to understand, not just respond. We have to take responsibility for our words as well as our actions, not blame others or situations. We have the ability to make changes, but they have to be done with understanding and responsibility.

While this post addresses the sexual community, this applies to all aspects of life, including, but not limited to guns, immigration, culture, religion, economics, security, the internet and of course other situations which affect all of us, no matter how much.

If nothing else: conservatism as a base, your foundation, then liberalism as something you understand as a freedom and its consequences should be our goal.

Only the best for ALL, not just a few, please.

Identity

Not long ago, a friend whose parents are of different races made a comment concerning her identity. She identifies herself as one race with the public, but I feel that she is a bit confused when she is not totally accepted by those she identifies with. I am a product of multiple races, as are many of my friends – most who will admit it, but as I do, I just leave it for those who question my origins to ask if they are curious enough. How do you identify yourself?

Several years ago, while living in a northwest city of the U.S. State of Wisconsin, I had befriended a younger adult man at the business where I worked. A few weeks after meeting and working with him, we happened to see each other at a local gas station and started a conversation. Somewhere in that conversation he asked me about my racial background. I chuckled (as I usually do when asked this), and proceeded to tell him about my racial heritage. We spoke some more, then we parted company. We continued our friendship up till the time I left the area.

In other places I’ve lived, such as Chicago, many have identified me as a Latino – by word of mouth per my mother’s side of the family, there is a Portuguese line as well. My point here is, I allow others to determine what they choose because I only consider myself as a person who lives in a diverse world.

Speaking of Chicago, years ago a friend and I were dining in one of my favorite restaurants in a northern suburb of Chicago. A young and very nice college student was our waitress. By all appearances, she was a young caucasian girl with very fair (not pale) skin, but she had curly hair. We had established a comfortable rapport with her, so I asked which European country her family came from. Her answer surprised me: she stated that she knew her family has a mix of Black (African) dating back a couple of generations or so, and she like me, didn’t make a big deal of it – it’s there, but I am who I am.

Now, I live in Mexico and not long ago, a student of mine started a conversation about identity here in Mexico. His statement was that most Mexicans have an identity crisis. This is because after the Spaniards came and conquered, they managed to kill – whether by force, or by contagious diseases, many of the indigenous people here, then ‘intermarried’ causing a lot of offspring which has resulted in a nation of far more mixed races than indigenous. Along with the Spanish are the French who wanted to claim Mexico, so there are mixtures of Spanish, French and because of escaped slaves from the U.S. and the Mexican-American “wars”, there are other mixtures. This has been written about in a book by Octavio Paz, “The Labyrinth of Solitude“. Here in Mexico, the people are generally loving and accepting of most everyone, with one exception (still being a general statement), they don’t like the “Indians”, or as we might say, the indigenous people. I suspect it’s because they hold on to their “native ways”.

identityFor me and those I’ve met who have interracial backgrounds, I’ve found that those of us who accept our “diversity”, we lead healthy lives when we accept our diversity as a unique aspect of life. We have less stress about who will accept us, how we appear to others and when we accept those who accept us for who and what we are rather than who and what we want others to see. We see more value in what we have to share with others, rather than having a concern about how we appear.

In the U.S.A., there still exists a division of races, partially because of its history, but now because many feel that there is something to be lost if they drop that identity. Sadly, many do not see themselves as “Americans”, but they feel the need to place an adjective before the word American. Here in Mexico and other Latin American countries, those who are born there, no matter the racial mixture, are addressed as their nationality – no adjectives implied. Does a “racial caste system” still exist? Yes, in some countries, for sure, but others will address you according to how you present yourself, even if you have to apply confidence, not forcefully, but confidently with love and acceptance for everyone. The moment others sense an air of arrogance in you, you may have lost your plea for acceptance.

If you are one who has a multi-racial, multi-cultural background, my advice is to accept and love yourself (not in a narcissistic manner), and focus on what your role in society is, and those who matter will accept you and your uniqueness, and a happy life will be yours.

I hope this has helped.